I’m sorry God for filling my thoughts and words with negativity. I now realize that I am living a gift.
I feel like being mad at the world, but maybe I’ll just sleep.
Why am I always the bad guy? I just don’t know how to feel anymore. I’m in a mix of in betweens. Whatever. I don’t know.
If you know me or even follow me on twitter, you would know that during school I can be a real debbie downer. It’s not that I want to be that way, but to make it short and simple—school makes me crazy. This is why I just wanted to take the time to be thankful. I am so grateful for the holidays in which I am able to have the time off school to relax, destress and spend quality time with people whom I love.
As cliche as it sounds, the holidays allow me to enjoy being around my family. I love the good vibes the holidays bring. I do feel myself to be more happy and positive because I’m just always in a good mood these days, I love it! I really do hope that my positivity will last throughout the new year, especially when I go back to school.
On another note, I am grateful that throughout this crazy ice storm in Toronto, our area didn’t lose power like other areas did. I know more than a couple of people who have lost power in their houses. I can’t imagine how they are surviving in these cold winter days without power. However, I know that there are a lot more people in other countries who have it worse. I am just so thankful for being blessed with a warm, cozy house (although it does get pretty chilly in my room) which I can stay in, despite the crazy winter weather we have this year. All I can hope for is that others, who don’t have power in their houses, will still feel the warmth of their families and their loved ones.
I know I rambled on more than usual but I just really wanted to share my gratitude. It’s late and I should probably get some sleep, but I’m going to wait for my boyfriends call. I’m so grateful that I get to see him next week :) I am blessed.. I am. <3
I hate having these moments. Having these crazy expectations for myself when really I should just slow it down, breathe and remember that it takes time. I did it once so I can do it again. I got this.
It’s a shame. Missing people that don’t miss you.
It’s 1:30 am and I know I should be sleeping, but I’m laying here on the phone, listening to the comfortable silence he seems to offer. What more can I ask for? Other than wanting to be closer than this. But this is how it goes.. I guess this is how it goes.
I wanted to write something deep and meaningful, like maybe writing about a bucket full of stars. But I just gave up on the idea of wishes. Because all that a bucket full of stars can do is get emptied when it’s dropped into a pile of promises, waiting to be kept.
I’m so tired of life. Honestly.
Sometimes my insecurities get the best of me and I don’t know why. I’m needy, I’m selfish, I’m only human. I need that reassurance that one day you’re not gonna change your mind. I need to know you’re here for good. I want you to tell me that I’m yours for life. I want that so bad..